Bring Me To Life
by Eliana Panthera
Summary: Kate is broken, and Ziva doesn't know if she can fix her. /KIVA/


**Bring Me To Life**

Kate had been kidnapped by a suspect.

He had captured her and raped her.

Ziva, Tony, Gibbs, and McGee had spent hours searching for her.

When Ziva found where they were, she had shot the man in the head without hesitation.

Ziva had cradled Kate's body to her chest, called Gibbs, then 9-1-1.

It was the first time Ziva had prayed in ages.

She was not sure who she was praying to, but she did it anyway.

Ziva was praying for Kate to be okay.

**---**

Ziva paced back and forth across the floor of the hospital waiting room.

Kate was in there. How long could those damn tests take?

Rape kits did not seem like they would take this long either.

_Rape, _Ziva thought, and bit her lip, _That bastard raped Kate. Repeatedly. I cannot imagine how she must have felt. They said that she was awake when it happened..._

Ziva was knocked out of her thoughts by a light headslap from Gibbs, getting her to focus on the nurse before her, "Family of Caitlin Todd?"

"Me," Ziva told her.

The woman gave Ziva a disbelieving glance, then led her away from the rest of the team.

"How is she?" Ziva asked.

The nurse sighed and looked at her clipboard, "Miss Todd isn't showing signs of being pregnant- though she'll need to come back in a few weeks so we can check on that again. She doesn't have an STD of any kind, either."

"So- can I go see her?" Ziva asked.

The nurse placed a hand on Ziva's shoulder, "She isn't going to be fine, you know. This has to be terrible for her to be going through."

"I know. I still want to see her, though," Ziva said, "She is my girlfriend. I do not want her to think that I have deserted her in a hospital."

The nurse sighed and led Ziva down a few hallways until they reached a room, "I'll be back in 15 minutes."

"Thank you." Ziva responded, and walked into the room.

Kate was staring blankly at the wall, and Ziva spoke up quietly, "Kate?"

No answer except a startled jump. Ziva bit her lip, "Kate, it is me. Ziva. Please look at me."

Kate turned her head slowly and looked at Ziva.

The Israeli walked toward her slowly, and Kate looked terrified. Ziva stopped where she was and said, "I am not going to hurt you."

"You let him hurt me," Kate said, "You didn't come quickly enough. He hurt me, and you didn't stop him."

Ziva bit her lip, "I am so sorry, Kate."

"Just...leave me alone," Kate whimpered, "Tell them all to leave me alone."

Ziva turned and hurried out of the room so Kate would not see her cry.

**--- **

Kate was letting Ziva live in their house.

For a week or two, Kate had refused to let anyone stay with her. She was that afraid of people.

She still was afraid, but she was finally letting Ziva sleep on the couch instead of the sleeping bag that the Israeli had put in Abby's lab.

Ziva was glad to be back in the house, even though its other occupant never said a word to her.

Living together again was a start to things being better.

**---**

Ziva had messed up.

She had found Kate crying, and instinctively placed a hand on her shoulder.

Kate had jumped about ten feet in the air and scurried across the room.

Ziva had never seen Kate this broken, and it hurt her as much as it did Kate.

The bastard who had did this had shattered Kate's strong walls into rubble.

Ziva just wished that he was still alive so she could shoot him again.

**---**

Kate started sleeping with two guns under her pillow.

Ziva discovered this while making the bed when Kate was downstairs getting a glass of water.

One, Ziva could understand. Two, that was pure paranoia.

But in Kate's situation, Ziva could understand.

She loaded full clips into the guns and set them back under the pillow, smoothing it out so it would not look like she had been snooping.

Ziva wondered if she was making a big mistake.

**---**

Ziva walked into the house, not bothering to turn on the lights. She threw her backpack on to the table and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms- a normal routine these days.

The light turned on and Kate stood in the stairwell, holding her gun. She saw Ziva and lowered the weapon, giving the Israeli a look before walking up the stairs and turning off the light again- another normal thing.

Usually, Ziva would have fallen onto the couch and let herself sleep. She would not have followed Kate.

But this time she did. She had something weighing on her, and she needed to tell Kate about it or she would go crazier than she already was.

Ziva walked into the bedroom, finding it lit only by the reading light attached to the headboard. Kate looked up when Ziva came in, but did not say a word. The dark-haired woman was used to the silence by now.

Kate rarely ever spoke, and she never laughed or smiled. Whenever someone would touch her, or even get too close, she would flinch or panic. Ziva was only there with her to make sure no one would bump into Kate and cause the brunette to have a mental breakdown.

Ziva sat on the bed, and Kate winced as the Israeli turned to face her.

"Kate...I need to talk to you," Ziva said quietly.

The older woman gave Ziva an odd look, but nodded faintly.

"I am...leaving. Here. This house, our relationship. I really did not want it to come to this, but I cannot take it anymore. You are in pain because of what happened to you. I am in just as much pain because the woman I am in love with no longer loves me back. You are afraid of me now, and I think it is best that I do not stay with you anymore. It hurts to see you so scared of me," Ziva said, and tears streamed down her cheeks against her will, "I-I am sorry. I just cannot do this anymore."

Kate's fingers gently locked with Ziva's. Ziva's eyes widened, and Kate squeezed her hand. The brunette looked at their linked fingers, up at Ziva, then back down again.

Swallowing thickly, Kate released her hold on Ziva's hand and leaned forward and hugged the Israeli instead. Ziva froze in shock for a moment, then gently wrapped her own arms around Kate's body, "I do not want this to happen...Kate. I love you so much."

Ziva lost control and sobbed into Kate's shoulder. The Israeli felt tears against the skin of her neck, and realized that Kate was crying as well.

"I love you too," Kate whispered.

Ziva realized how much that must have taken, for Kate to hold her, to tell her she loved her. Kate was still as strong as she had been before. She just needed help to repair herself.

Still crying, out of happiness, though, Ziva simply held Kate in an embrace for several long mintues.

There was nothing better than the feeling of Kate holding her, as well.

**--- **

Three months later, things were better. Kate spoke more, though it still was not a lot.

She would sit on the same couch as Ziva, just a couple of feet between them. And, eventually, Ziva found Kate curled against her side, shaking nervously but resting her head on the younger woman's shoulder.

It was as far as they got. Of course Ziva missed the kissing, the love making. But she was happy that Kate would simply look at her again. Ziva was happy that Kate could smile every once in a while.

On New Year's Eve, Ziva and Kate were sitting together on the couch and watching the special on TV.

The ball was dropping along with the numbers on the countdown. Ziva smiled as it reached 'one' and the people on the TV started cheering.

The smile was wiped off her face by Kate's lips against her own- following the rule that Tony had taught them ages ago. You always kiss your lover when the New Year begins.

Ziva froze in shock for a second, then tenderly placed a hand on Kate's cheek and kissed her back.

It was soft and slightly unsure, but it was a kiss all the same.

When it was broken due to need of air, Ziva rested her forehead against Kate's and whispered, "I missed you."

"I missed me too," Kate responded, and Ziva kissed her again.

**--- **

Kate was better.

She was not the same as before. She was too mentally scarred to be exactly the same.

But she was back to smiling and sending sarcastic jokes Tony's way on occasion.

She couldn't work with NCIS anymore. Even if she passed a psyche evaluation, Ziva would not let her. Kate would not be able to take that.

But she still came into work with Ziva sometimes, simply to catch up with her friends.

Sometimes she would let Abby hug her, sometimes she would share high-fives with McGee when they ganged up on Tony. Sometimes she would share knowing smiles with Ziva about everything. Sometimes she would laugh when Gibbs brought her a coffee- just the way she liked it. Sometimes she would roll her eyes in a Kate-like way at Tony.

One time, Tony had unthinkingly headslapped Kate. It was not a hard slap, but everyone had frozen and hoped that Kate would not freek out.

But she had simply raised her right hand and headslapped him in return.

Other times, Kate would curl up in her and Ziva's bed and bawl her eyes out. Other times, she would wake up screaming, nightmares haunting her sleep. Other times, she would flinch if even Ziva touched her.

But Kate was better. Ziva knew this the night they slept together again. It had been a terrifying experience for Kate, who was trembling so badly that Ziva had to stop once or twice. But they managed, and Ziva could not stop smiling as she laid with Kate curled in her arms later that night.

Things were still different- they always would be.

But life was looking up.

**-Fin-**

**This idea popped into my head at 5 a.m. It took me all day to get to writing this, and the writing itself took over two hours. My hands hurt now. Damn.**

**Reviews make my world go round, seriously.**


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